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The whiteboard faces me
Each morning when I lift my head
With the title “Some Truths”
Above a list of some truths:

People need time and space to think.
From a chaotic moment
Decisions slipped passed me making themselves

Reading books is objectively good.
Stacks overflowing the bookshelves
I can’t help the ravenous hunger
To read and read and read

Capitalism sucks.
That the structure isn’t real
That we’re merely a collection of individuals

Sophie loves Jack a lot
XOXO Gossip Girl

Jack loves Sophie a lot too

Communism is the answer.

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Photo by Alberto Gasco on Unsplash

The knot is rooted in my gut reaction to seeing Black Lives Matter lawn signs scattered through my wealthy, white, suburban, colonized neighborhood. They are everywhere. In fact, they’re the only new change since the protests started back in May. We’ll virtue signal ourselves to death before looking at the superstructure. The irony churns in my stomach with the rest of my distasteful reaction to this settler colonial project. My gut is telling me that this isn’t how it’s supposed to be.

While outside of human influence, trees grown naturally in forests develop a web of communication with each other. Through electric impulses, fragrances, and an intertwined root system, trees form a collective and work cooperatively to survive (read “The Hidden Life of Trees” by Peter Wohllben if you’re interested). A dying tree will receive nutrients from its neighbors prolonging its life long after it’s a “productive” member of the community. However, isolated trees lose this ability to communicate. Instead, their roots are only connected with the earth and are only for gathering nutrients. …

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Photo by Markus Hmr on Unsplash

The thought keeps popping into my head:
I want to drop out of school.
The suffocating monotony does not appeal to me anymore.

For a while, I wanted to go to graduate school.
I joined the pre-law fraternity during my first weeks at college.
There were good people, and I made friends.
Ultimately, I realized the deadening minutia of law was not for me and decided I want something alive.

By the end of my freshman year, I transferred out of my international affairs program to pursue math and philosophy.
For my couple months in quarantine, the allure of that combination kept me in my place.
Yet I slept through my first math course at school.
The second was much better, but it was drowned out by the flood of busy work from other classes.
Economics and its propaganda made my blood boil. …

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Photo by Margarita Kosior on Unsplash

Understanding humanity must be an attempt at finding the true middle.
To demean and to deify are forms of objectification.
People can only be the subject.

I was listening to an episode of Revolutionary Left Radio (amazing podcast, highly recommend) where Breht talked with Alyson about how killing innocents had been a rigid line of his.
He stated while Marxism had fundamentally changed his view on violence in general, violence against innocents had not moved.
To understand this line, we need to examine our understanding of innocence.

Breht often mentions women and children in violent mass murders as a hallmark of violence against innocents, but this framing has always rubbed me the way.
This diefies, objectifies, the “women and children.”
In the Algerian decolonial context, bombing a café is seen as bombing innocents.
I am reminded that those in the café are French colonizers, and their act of colonization is violent as well. …

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I don’t know what day it is
I had to check my phone before starting this page
In my week off from work, this days blend into each other like the mountains across the lake.

Last week, I was phone banking after work.
A wrong number lead to a long conversation about communism, political communication, and listening.
The man said that it was his first day off in weeks,
Yet somehow he found the energy to take my call and even offer his wisdom.
He hadn’t had a day off in weeks, but I don’t even know the date.

Yesterday, I went water skiing.
I sat in the pristine lake thinking about the generational wealth,
How I could spend a couple hours on the water with people I just met,
Miles away from civilization and the fears of not wearing a mask. …



He/him, putting my thoughts into the world until I have a good one

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